KG: Welcome back from Spring Break! One of the nice things about having two weeks off is that Spring has suddenly arrived on the Hill. Yes, spring. The trees are budding, the birds are singing, the flowers are starting to bloom, and a young librarian’s fancy turns to fines.
Yes, fines. Those unfortunate side effects of overdue books (return your books)
JB: Woah, let’s not jump right into being all judge-y and blame-y. That’s not how we convince people, Mr. Gette. Do over.
KG: <smiles, grabs pitchfork>
JB: <smiles, holds puppy and lamb>
…wait, why are we on a farm?
…annndddd do over.
KG: Welcome back from Spring Break!
JB: We welcome you with pitchforks, puppies, lambs and farm stuff!
KG: …I thought we were starting over.
JB: Right! Ok. We welcome you with the Canned Food Drive!
(if this was an English paper, we would already have a C- for avoiding the point for this long)
KG: I know what you’re thinking. “Canned Food Drive? That was in the fall. Now we’re in spring! Don’t you ever leave the library?”
JB: Yes, proverbial audience, we do. We leave to eat. Eating happens year round. Even when the leaves grow instead of fall.
KG: …right. Anyway, because eating is an every-season activity, Mrs. Prendergast had the grand idea of donating to the Connecticut Food Bank all library fines collected this month.
JB: So instead of groaning at us humble librarians when we mutter phrases like “overdue books” and “library fines,” rejoice! Cheer and skip merrily down the hill with arms linked a-la The Wizard of Oz (NOT the Great and Powerful…they were not as joyous).
KG: Yeah, he doesn’t look like the skipping type.
JB: And when you get to Oz…or the library, happily donate your fines to the Connecticut Food Bank. And forget the metaphor. We are basically wizards.
KG: Yer a wizard, Barrows.
JB: Don’t joke about that, Mr. Gette. I’ve been waiting for that letter since 1998.
KG: My apologies. But now I know what I should have done for April Fools’ Day.
JB: The devastation of discovering the falseness in such a potential joke would have warranted a convalescence…somewhere.
KG: So please, return your books and pay your fines (if you owe any). Calarco Library is proud to be putting them towards such a good cause (even though it will eat into our hovercraft fund).
JB: We support eating, and believe that everyone has a right to it…seriously, it’s a human right. Also, we can scrape by for the hovercraft fund and Hogwarts tuition.
KG: (You know they’re not going to pay in Galleons, right?)
Happy reading and happy eating, everyone!*
*comma to prevent cannibalism