James Gette

James Gette, the Calarco Library’s newest librarian, came to us after escaping from a secret librarian S.W.A.T team buried deeply in the Amazonian Jungle. His expertise: cataloging, Young Adult Fiction, Classics, and awesomeness. He plans to spend his first year reading as much YA Fiction as possible, teaching the masses how to be the MOST extreme researchers, and metamorphosing into a spectacular high school librarian and instructor. You can often find Mr. Gette in the library (oh the irony), or walking face first into Heath. The latter is probable because Heath was not around when Mr. Gette graduated from Hopkins in 2000. An alumn, a librarian, and so much more, we are all lucky to have Mr. Gette with us.

Now maybe next time, he will let us use a picture that shows his face…

–Signing off, Jenny Barrows (who has sworn an oath to the truth of this bio)

Jenny Barrows

(Ed: Our source agreed to speak with us under the promise of strict confidentiality)

Jenny Barrows? Yeah, I know her. Don’t let that friendly, helpful, knowledgeable exterior fool you – that lady has done things you wouldn’t believe. Cheshire Academy? Sure, and I’ve got a bridge to sell you. She spent that year running books in Hindustan. I spent a couple days with her, hiding copies of The Perks of Being a Wallflower in a truck of industrial equipment. Barely got out with all the chapters intact. She knows more about social media and emergent technology than some Nobel Laureates. She’s hooked into them all, even ones that are still in alpha. I heard she once shushed a man so hard he couldn’t speak for three days. And he was a White House Press Secretary!

Don’t get me started on those individualized research help sessions. You may think she’s told you how to find good sources for your paper, but what you’ve really learned is how to kill a grizzly bear when all you’ve got is a label maker.

(Our source takes a sip of tea and sits silently for a moment)

“I’ve seen things, man. Horrible things.”

-Signing off, REDACTED